“Your job is so important” she said, & i bristled. I never wanted to be IMPORTANT. When I started this business…I wasn’t starting a business. I was a mom & a wife, drawing something I needed but couldn’t find for my kid. a genius little boy asking 101 questions about why the world was so dark. & in so many ways Emerald Creative took on a life of her own. She has thrown me into all of these rooms and spaces I never dreamed of being in. Inked my name in print across the world. Enlightened and educated myself and thousands of people around the globe. & this light, shined on parts of myself and my life that I had spent so long hiding. & when those things were brought up to surface, I lost a lot. I have been angry with my business. & even angry with some of my customers because I’ve felt this obligation to react to every horrible thing that goes on in the world. & my reactions kept my relevancy alive, it kept my posts going viral, which sent hits to ny website, which is good for SEO, which is good for sales, which pay my rent & put the food on my table. But what you don’t see in the content creation & the upbeat learning videos is: The constant internet abuse I’ve endured the last few years. Putting yourself in the line of fire to educate & speak truth, is quite literally dangerous. I’ve had stalkers. I’ve had death threats, written to me and left on my doorstep. What you don’t see is the onslaught of messages from people who are angry that their white children aren’t represented in my work. The messages that weaponize my failed marriage and my white passing children against me. What you don’t see is me crumbled and angry and hurt, sometimes quite literally on the ground, because the weight of this world is so much for any of us to carry. & to turn it into art… I know that my art is light & happy but the message, the inspiration, the souls I honor & represent in every brushstroke is
All I want to do is draw & help people. & I am spreading myself too thin. I am losing my joy by reacting to every wave of sorrow that washes over this world.
so I’m taking a radical step & doing what I’m meant to do. I’m going to create what inspires me. & that may be art prints, programs, curated spaces or day camps for our tiny queens. & I’m going to create content and share education that empowers all of us, but especially my people. Black folx & especially Black femmes will always be a priority here.
I think that this shift from a reactive business, to one who steadily knows who she serves will be a major blessing to our community & to our mental health.
I love you all & im so happy to be on this journey with you.
May the people who are meant to find & be inspired by my work, always find me.
May the people who I’m meant to collaborate and expand with, always connect with me.
May those who want to support & follow & learn & grow & change the world with me, be led to me.
& so it is.
If you’d like to donate to support my mission: Venmo: @shesaworldchanger Cashapp: $taimaniemerald